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Ok, it’s pretty damn obvious that pregnancy brings a whole bunch of physical and emotional changes. Unfortunately, we don’t all have happy and healthy pregnancy experiences. Some of us will get anxious, stressed, and have those dreaded fears and doubts during pregnancy. When you are expecting and jump on that roller coaster to parenthood, everything is new! It’s perfectly normal to have fears and doubts. Most other women have gone through similar fears.
Let’s talk about some of the most common fears that rattle inside our heads. Remember, learning and talking about these fears will provide strength and relief.
Here’s a list of some most common fears women come across during pregnancy:
Miscarriage
Holy shit, the fear of miscarriage is a big one and rightly so. Every time something felt wrong, a pain in my stomach, an over-exerted stretch or exercise session, sex or spotting I automatically thought of the worse – I’ve lost my baby!
Well, I can tell you with certainty that you can relax, there is no evidence or proof that suggests that miscarriage results from any of these activities. The main cause of miscarriage is due to chromosomal abnormalities in which you can’t do anything to prevent.
The risk of miscarriage is about 10% – 20 %, perhaps a little concerning, but not odds I’d bet on. Don’t automatically assume the worse. Look at the positive side, most pregnancies lead to a healthy baby. Eat well, avoid alcohol, smoking, drugs and too much caffeine to give you the best chance in pregnancy.
How does my Stress affect my Babies Health?
We often hear from many professionals that stress is harmful to you and your baby. Many of us fear that everyday stress like running late for work, arguing with your partner, boring work stress etc. can affect the health of our baby.
From what we know, irregularly instances of stress have minimal impact on your babies wellbeing. It’s the ongoing stress, depression, and trauma that we want to avoid as these can cause complications in your pregnancy that may have a huge impact on your baby’s health.
Try deep breathing, yoga, relaxing exercises, or anything that helps you relax your mind to reduce stress levels.
Will I Enjoy Sex after Birth?
Are you worried that that sex will not be the same after giving birth? Well for me it wasn’t for a while. Firstly I was too tired, had my bits violated, didn’t feel sexy and had a baby wanting my attention all the time. There was no talk of sex, period!
But after a while, my body healed and the thought of being intimate again became more appealing. It may take a few months, but it will happen. Try to give your body some rest and avoid sex until your doctor gives you the clear. Even after your doctor’s approval, go slow.
Once you are fully recovered, you can enjoy your sex life even more. There is nothing to worry about, just relax, give yourself some time to heal and get back on the horse, or whatever it is you do!
Can I lose my Pregnancy Weight?
The fear of not losing your pregnancy weight is another big concern, especially for those who put on too much weight during pregnancy. I mean, who didn’t indulge in an ice-cream dipped pickle for their craving?
Firstly, accept the changes your body goes through during pregnancy and be kind to yourself. Consider taking care of your diet, choose a healthy and well-balanced diet and stay active during pregnancy to reduce the chances of gaining too much weight. Begin exercising as soon as you can or when your doctor gives you the all-clear.
Regular exercise will help you lose your pregnancy weight and will boost your mental wellbeing as well. And one more thing, breastfeeding your baby for a minimum of 6 months will also help to reduce pregnancy weight, another amazing benefit to breastfeeding your baby.
Fears about Labor and Delivery
Almost all pregnant women get anxious when they are near their due date. The thought of squeezing a watermelon out of your vagina would make any woman anxious! The anxiety around your labor pain and the fear of losing control of your emotions during delivery is perfectly normal. I’d be worried if you think this is going to be fun!
If you’re worried about labor pain, there are things you can do to alleviate the stress. Suck on some gas or opt for an epidural, both of these options will make you feel like you can deliver triplets. If drugs aren’t your thing, consider more natural options such as labor in the bathtub, relaxing techniques, breathing or changing positions to ease your labor pain.
If you can afford it, hiring a doula also helps to a great extent, talk to your doctor about the whole procedure. I find the best way to reduce fear is to arm myself with knowledge, the more you know the more prepared you become and the less scary something is. Knowledge comes in all shapes, blogs, videos, friends and parenting classes.
Embarassment During Delivery
My greatest fear wasn’t the pain or the crappy paper undies they give you at the hospital, it was the fear of being exposed, having my bum in the air, the loss of control of my emotions during delivery, shitting the bed or farting in the labor room. Oh, the embarrassment.
Well, firstly, your Doctor and the team of medical professionals looking after you have seen it all. These things are natural and normal, this shit just doesn’t bother them. They’ll get more of a kick out of your “this is Major Tom to ground control” rendition when you’re high on laughing gas!
My advice is, don’t worry about it. Get these thoughts out of your mind and start practising your singing skills.
Will I be a Good Mom?
We’ve all felt it, a brief moment where we don’t know what the heck we’re doing. During pregnancy, you may feel distressed whilst thinking about taking care of your baby, the fear of not becoming a good mom.
The fear of “what if I’m not able to do or manage everything”. I know this is all new for you, so feeling anxious about this is perfectly normal. When you start caring for your baby, you’re going to make mistakes and screw up some things up. But, you’ll learn from your mistakes and get better. A mom commits 110% to take care of their baby, which is more important than being perfect. The more time spent with your baby, the more you’ll understand their needs and wants, which in turn makes the bond between you and your baby deeper and stronger. Just be more confident that you’ll manage everything.
There are many other concerns that you may have during pregnancy but remember it’s normal to feel this way from time to time.
But if you are suffering from severe anxiety and it’s affecting your diet, health, or sleep, it may be time to consult your doctor.