Feeling of miscarriage is far more painful than anything you can expect. It not only affects you physically but shatters you emotionally as well. The loss of the pregnancy comes with many emotions like anger, guilt, sadness, disappointment, depression, etc. It’s ok to grieve or mourn, because it takes time to come out from this loss. You may take a few weeks or even months to recover physically (that depends upon how far along the miscarriage is) but may take much more time to recover emotionally. The fact is, nothing can recover your loss, but we’ll help you come out from this trauma which will help you heal (physically as well as emotionally) faster. But before that, let’s look at the emotional state of mind that you might be going through after a miscarriage.
The miscarriage grieving process can be explained in three different steps:
Trauma/Shock: When you first come to know about miscarriage, this shocks you and puts you in the state of denial. You have these thoughts: maybe the doctor is wrong, maybe the baby is still alive inside you, this couldn’t have happened to me, etc. This is the mental mechanism that actually helps you to protect you from sudden shock or trauma. Try to listen to your doctor carefully, to understand the situation in a better way.
Sadness/Remorse: After miscarriage, your mind may be flooded with various emotions like anger, guilt, or sadness. The loss makes you feel angry or irritated on every little thing. Sometimes it makes you feel guilty, “It’s definitely my mistake which made this happen to me, it’s all my fault”. You also end up blaming yourself, your doctor, the situation, the God or any other thing. You may also get uncomfortable around everything that reminds you of your pregnancy loss. That sadness sometimes makes you so depressed that you loose interest in almost everything which also affects your appetite and sleep. Remember, miscarriage happens due to a medical reason and sometimes you just can’t do anything to prevent this. It just has to happen.
Accepting: Now, finally you are in a state when you have to accept this loss. And ready to believe that this is for real and you have to do something to come out from this. It doesn’t mean you forget this loss, it just means you are ready to deal with it and ready to move on. After a miscarriage it may take a few months to accept and move on in your life. Of-course you need to put on some efforts and the help of your loved ones to look further in your life.
TIPS TO HEAL AFTER MISCARRIAGE
Following are some tips which may help you to heal faster after miscarriage i.e. helps in physical recovery as well as emotional recovery:
TAKE REST:
After such a shocking experience, first of all take plenty of rest to heal yourself. The more you take the rest, the more your body heals and the more you feel good. If you are not able to sleep or take rest due to stress, try to listen to music, do deep breathing, get some massage to relax yourself. Because sleeplessness not only delays your physical recovery but also affects your mood. So try little things that may help you to relax and give you a better sleep.
TAKE YOUR PILLS ON TIME:
You may experience cramps, pain, or bleeding for 1-2 weeks after a miscarriage. Your doctor may prescribe you some medications for the pain or some supplements to recover faster, do take your medicines properly. If you still experience some discomfort or pain after a few weeks, better to consult your doctor.
MAINTAIN GOOD LIFESTYLE:
Well-balanced diet and good nutrition are always on-top. Even if you don’t feel like eating anything, still you have to take care of your health even more after miscarriage. Add dairy products, dry fruits, fruits, green veggies, eggs, cheese, red meat, etc. in your diet, which help in recovery. Drink plenty of water with some fruit juices to keep yourself hydrated, as hydration helps you to heal and feel better. Also do a little exercise, go for a walk, or go outside, which will help you to uplift your mood as well as help in physical recovery.
GIVE YOURSELF SOME TIME:
It is rightly said that “Time Heals Everything”. Just give yourself some time and don’t push yourself to accept and plan for the next baby. Let your body and emotions get stable before planning further for the baby. The earliest you accept and get stable, the earliest your body comes back to their normal working process i.e. getting your menstrual cycle normal, then you can plan further whenever you feel so (after consulting with your doctor).
MAKE YOURSELF BUSY:
If you keep your mind free for the whole day, your mind keeps recalling the same mis-happening. So try to distract your mind and get yourself busy in one thing or the other. Remember, the more you get stressed out, the more your health and hormones get affected. So try to do things that make you feel relaxed or better in anyway. For that you can read books, cook, and eat your favorite meals, listen to music, watch TV, and do light household chores to make yourself busy.
SHARE YOUR FEELINGS:
Don’t let your grief or disappointment remain inside you, express it out. Because you’ll feel much better by sharing your problems or feelings with someone. It’s ok if you want to cry and show your grief in front of them, let them pamper and take care of you for a while. Spend some time with your loved ones like your family, friend, and most importantly your partner. He too has lost his child, so be each other’s support, which will help both of you to heal and move on.
SEEK FOR HELP:
If you have any query or doubt in your mind about the miscarriage or further pregnancy, then talk about it in detail with your doctor. And if you still can’t accept the loss and feel depressed, then it’s high time to take some help from your doctor. Your doctor may prescribe you anti-depressant medicines or suggest therapies for depression, which will surely help you heal emotionally.
Remember, it’s not your fault, as many women have to go through from this phase (as you are not alone). I know it’s very difficult to go through from this phase, but you have to take care of yourself, stay positive, and think about the future.